Glimpses

It has almost been 2 months since I went back to work. Amazing. Realizing the time that has passed made me think of that first day, when we had to drop the Peanut off at his new babysitter's house. We had been looking for a day care situation we felt comfortable with for a while, and nothing was coming through. I had been praying for months (literally, because I knew the day would come) for the right person, the right place, to care for our little one. Finally, the Saturday before I went back to work, it fell into place. From calling around and talking to the Bishop of the ward we lived in when we first got married, we learned that a woman Drummer Man used to home teach actually watched kids in her home. And she only took 3 at a time, and they had to be under 4, and she had one space left. When we went to see her that Saturday she told us that people kept asking who she was saving the spot for. Hmmmm. Having childcare in Sugarhouse meant that we would be close to peanut while we were at work. And Drummer Man already knew the family, and she had a spot available. This was good!

So Monday came and the three of us left Springville and drove up to Salt Lake together (blessed carpool lane) and we dropped off all his stuff and gave all the information she would need with contact info and schedule, etc. and then it was time to go. To leave the Peanut behind. I was good until that moment. As we walked out to the car leaving AJ in Janet's care, my heart was gripped with an intense ache. I was leaving my baby behind, how could I leave him? Suddenly I had this glimpse, a fleeting impression, that what I felt at that moment was just an inkling of what our Heavenly Parents feel entrusting each one of their precious spirit children into the care of others for this life. The knowledge that Heavenly Father was aware of my child and his needs, and that He loved AJ even more than Drummer Man and I do, and that He would watch over our little peanut, carried me through the day.